I have tried to live up to considerably high expectations that I have placed upon myself. I have allowed the expectations of others even, to make me calculate my steps. The pressures of unceasingly harassing myself...
It took me a while to realize it, but the only thing I did consistently was quit. I quit when the going got tough, or just when I felt like I didn't care enough. In adolescence, I often beat myself up about it...
I have a confession... I have been a people pleaser for most of my life. At times, even to my own detriment. I happen to be a quick learner & a creative, primarily so that I can be useful to others.
Juice WRLD Died this month. At the age of 21, from a seizure. Due to the pills he ingested in order to avoid incarceration at the airport. Here's my thoughts as an artist on suicide & death by drug overdose...
Intention forever remains the victim of interpretation. Talking to Strangers is a noteworthy book to alkalize your naiveté, ice bath your childish glee & make you think twice about human interaction.
I Love the way I want to love. That may or may not be favored by you. I Love as much as I have & want to give, as little or as much as that is... & I accept what Love I have been blessed to receive, at any increment.
We are attached to the things that we do. Indoctrinated by society, then inevitably... mostly, by choice. As a society, we valuate one another based on the things that we do. Not of who we are, but of what we do.
An associate friend of mine asked me something I thought I knew the answer to... “what value do I have to provide?”
Many of us men go most of our lives not knowing how to process & make sense of our emotional hues, triggers & breakdowns. Once we give way to vulnerability, that which was suppressed will flow out relentlessly.
To the greatest love of my life, I have a confession to make. I am sure you are already aware. I’ve come to Love another... I’ve known Love elsewhere.
True Balance is the most elusive aspect of this human existence. Just when you think you’ve got it, something else tips you just off the scale.
A Letter that I wrote for my sister. I wanted to share it with my Tribe, because I want you to know of her resilience. To my sister that's just now seeing this, Hey Aosta! xD
It was easier when things were shallow. It was easier when I could downplay Love; easier when I could party & indulge my way out of loneliness. It was easier still when I could be cold & mysterious & sought after for it.
Often, as reasonable as a choice may be, sometimes we may find ourselves reluctant to make that choice. Sometimes we fall victim to listening to the self-berating inner voice...
We are hurt. Ain’t no way around it. To heal would be quite easy, instantaneous even, in stillness with controlled breath. With Forgiveness. With Acceptance. With Willingness to Receive. With Willingness to Let Go.
"I get lost in life from time to time... Yet, I come back around. Though I’m certain... it never feels that way in the dark." — 500 words of poetic prose from yours truly, Mr. Wildenfree.
Alright, let’s set the facts straight. I wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for my brother. Fxck writing it, I say what tf I gotta say when I need to say it & who I need to say it to.
My brother was called a ruffian. A good-for-nothing. A never-amount-to-anything type with exacerbated encounters. Brows furrowed in a frenzy & eyes averted with a dart-like speed whenever he walked in the room.
“The most difficult thing for men is to process emotions through feeling alone, without the encumbrance of thinking through & analyzing those feelings." A fiction, short story. On matters of life, love & understanding.
It’s wise to be cautious & considerate, it’s unwise to fall victim to the symptoms of chronic fear & fear-mongering.
"Love Is... I Am. You Are. We Could... Be." More poetry from a vulnerable Wildenfree.
This is a means to acknowledge the all-too-human desire to express that which may be wholly undesirable, in a way that is conducive to a life well lived out of consideration for others & the Duality perceived.
I beseech those who come across this reflection to glean meaning rather than naivety. To recognize the strengths of choosing Optimism, Purity & Peace; rather than perceiving vulnerable, uncompromisable detriment.
Failure is a temporary state. Feeling like a failure consistently is a chronic failure of the mind. It’s like holding on to pain long after a wound has healed
The irony of having written such a well thought out & impromptu post about being consistent & pushing through the struggles with keeping up with a daily challenge...
It’s been another long day. I ended up spending too much time absorbed in other content, mixing & mastering a song, tweaking some promo material for my upcoming event, going through footage from the last one...
Not much in particular on the mind tonight. It’s been a long day. Productive I would say. So perhaps I shall share with you all a “Productive Day in the Life of Mr. Wildenfree”.
The path that seems it would provide me with the utmost fulfillment, in some ways, seems to be the path in which I am quickest to erect a multitude of barriers.
What are you brooding over, silly? There's so much beauty in front of you. So much life. So many seeds you've planted that you have yet to reap!
Meditation, Visualization, & Affirmations. I certainly believe the process to self-mastery & overcoming one's own mind is quintessential for a life of abundance & deliberate manifestation.
And there it is again. The destination that is always available to me... The territory of depressive tendencies & existential fabricated enemies of my peace of mind.
I give all due credit to scientists in this day & age. They work off of a force that's so beyond surface level existence. The essence that compels scientists forward is so fascinating to me.
I've been reading "The Will To Change" by Bell Hooks, & shockingly, it's been crumbling the world view that I had believed I had to get accustomed to for so long, just to be a respected part of this society — Patriarchy.
There is a beauty to stillness, when you’re fully immersed. A beauty to this turbulence, the whirling of this world. Brilliantly distinct, yet ebbing & flowing in & out of coalescence with one another.
I know nothing. I've never known anything. I thought I did, & I knew I didn't. I feigned I did, still knowing nothing. You may have thought I knew something, but I honestly don't.
500 words a day in the month of July. I guess that's what I'll write. Haven't thought about how I should nurture the style, I could perhaps just let it be what it will be for a while.
Today I put the finishing touches on "February Flows", the album. This month's blog post will serve as a retrospective to that experience, and as an overall update of what's been happening lately!
September 25, 2012. Kendrick Lamar & the TDE family made their way to Tallahassee, FL for a performance at "The Moon"... and my life changed forever.
I am peculiar & unashamed. I am not normal — & I never tried to be... I'm living my life so very Wildenfree.
Allow my experiences to paint a picture. My tale is one that will resonate with the disenchanted — the peculiar ones who know how marvelous life really is, yet from time to time struggle to see it all with enthusiasm.
A 1 of 1 Collaboration piece with visuals by Shimron & original music by Mr. Wildenfree, for the Tinkerz Collab collection on Foundation.