I finally realized something truly important. There’s no such thing as Good Intentions. Well, in your mind there may be, but it’s a fruitless consideration.
Intention does not equal interpretation.
We cannot dictate or control how others will perceive & interpret the actions, decisions & emotional responses that we have. Nor Vice Versa.
Because of this, regardless of how well intentioned we may be when we play our hand, we may still be misaligned with the person with whom we are dealing.
Such is life & duality at its best.
Duality is an unending gradient. Rhythmically dancing, blending & intertwining like the lights of an EDM festival. Each frequency oscillating with a minutely different vibration.
Let me not drift too far on the ethereal minutiae, though.
I began to explore the nuances of this perplexity only months before happening across Malcom Gladwell’s “Talking to Strangers”. This book, is not for the faint of heart.
Truly, it tackles the grittier discussions that often go unspoken when it comes to the matters of assessing others. Why is it that police officers & judicial systems disproportionately condemn & kill black people? How do the best spy’s go unnoticed? Is that person really telling the truth?
It’s the intersection of many brow-furrowing conversations, nevertheless a noteworthy book to alkalize your naiveté, ice bath your childish glee & make you think twice about things. And then 34 times after that.
It’s important to note, that I always advocate on behalf of Balance. Healthy skepticism is essential, however being caught in the pit of fear-mongering, where you barely leave your house &/or become hypersensitive, is not the way to go. Likewise, being too gleeful & simple-minded will leave you too Vulnerable.
I too, will always advocate on behalf of Vulnerability. However, it must be treated with respect & monitored to maintain a healthy & viable threshold. Like the decibel meters that let you know if it’s too loud; that remaining in such an environment could lead to temporary or long-term damage.
Such is the case with Vulnerability.
To paint a simple picture, it’s an On & Off switch. It’s either a 0 or a 1, open or closed, neither, or little bit of both. Okay, not simple anymore, it’s quite quantum. That being said, it’s CRITICAL to understand first what it’s like to be open, & then what it’s like to be closed. Then, you must learn how to oscillate between those two states rhythmically to the tempo of your environment, & the people that surround you. The better you are at assessing your surroundings will matter just marginally. That margin could lead you astray, however, it could also save your life.
The only aspect that you can receive a bit of a guarantee on, is that you will become much more aware of what state of vulnerability you are currently expressing, & what direction you would deliberately step in order to attempt amicably navigating your way back to a comfortable & confirmed consensus between yourself & those with whom you’re involved.
Navigating vulnerability is like surfing on the facade of misaligned interpretations between the intentions of two or more humans. it’s not necessarily a finish line to cross, but a feeling to connect to & become synchronized with for a period of time. There is always an imminent possibility for a wipe out, though one doesn’t have to occur.
Let us become beyond aware, more cognizant of our interpersonal discrepancies with communication. Let us challenge ourselves to dig deeper & provide more clarity with each & every interaction. Let us not be fooled by our own naiveté nor swayed too drastically by our skepticisms. The difference in the outcome may be marginal, but a margin can go a long way.
All the best,
Sean aka Mr. Wildenfree