A Story | Yang Expresses Light (Pt. I)

#JournalingJuly - July 21st

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My brother was called a ruffian. A good-for-nothing. A never-amount-to-anything type with exacerbated encounters. Brows furrowed in a frenzy & eyes averted with a dart-like speed whenever he walked in the room. Feelings of unease were abound, everone seemed happier when he wasn’t around... yet, I somehow managed to enjoy quietly observing in his corner. People could never quite fathom us in the same room together.

It is only for the high regard that people give me that they tolerate my tactful defenses of his less-than acceptable behavior. Yes, quite the opposite, people receive me warmly. I’m told I have a light about me, & that my presence is genuinely appreciated by almost everyone I meet. I do not feel I am doing anything particularly noteworthy or extraordinary, yet this reception was often the case.

If one were to describe me as a state of rest, stillness or silence, my brother was constant cacophonies & catalytic movement. Dramas would unfold in his presence, while I would sit & observe, perhaps interjecting once or twice with a word of suggestion. He never quite listened to me, however he was always hard headed & wanted to figure things out the hard way.

I never pressed the issue, as he always reminded me he was the eldest. I found out many years later that age is not the unanimous signifier of deference here in Limbîa — a bit of brotherly manipulation perhaps.

Nevertheless, it mattered not. I enjoyed my brother in many ways, & I learned so very much from being able to observe him without judgement. I came to vicariously experience many hardships & emotional depths by witnessing his conflicts.

I was able to realize that his failures provided me with far more exact data than the speculations I would ruminate on about our reality. What would one do if they encountered one, such as my brother, on a flustered night with three of our moons in retrograde? Crazy to say I’ve witnessed this time & time again across the decades already.

Often times, my brother would vent to me out of frustration. He would rage on about the reasons no one liked him. He would blame it on his skin, his nose, his hair, his eyes, his frankness, his assertiveness, & his willingness to express himself fully.

I never understood his vanity metrics. After all, we are virtually identical. Same skin, same nose, same hair, same eyes. I constantly speak wellness & peace of mind into existence for him, however I do my best not to worry.

He has tried to open up to me before. It was one of the first times I felt as if I was actually receiving a compliment from him. He said, ever so reluctantly, “You’ve been yappin’ on about being faithful so much it’s starting to rub off on me. I can never fully understand you bro, but I will say you help to keep me grounded.”

I can’t quite imagine that my brother knows the feeling of peace as I’ve come to know it... yet & still, his words were able to strum the chord of that exact frequency for me.

To whom it may concern,

Yang

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All the Best,

Sean aka Mr. Wildenfree

#LiveLifeWell

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