Introspection
July 2, 2019

#JournalingJuly - July 2nd

Inhaling feels like silk. Exhaling feels like velvet. The sensations I feel when observing the breath in stillness.

I know nothing. I've never known anything. I thought I did, & I knew I didn't. I feigned I did, still knowing nothing. You may have thought I knew something, but I honestly don't. I know a couple of things, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I know not, for I live in a subjective reality. Only a couple of things I may be familiar with through this solo interpretation of my subjective reality; one of them is duality. Happiness, despair. Joy, sorrow. Gratitude, grief. Strong, weak. Faith, fear. Abundance, lack. Black, White. Togetherness, longing. And so it goes.

I had to google search for the opposite emotion of fear... Is it sad to know that I had not the Faith in mind to know it's the cure? I thought I knew Faith. I once thought I did not know fear... yet how can you really think you know something until you've recognized it in its full spectrum? How can you really think you can know something enough to say that you don't know it, even in jest? Everything is known, & nothing is known.

Peace of mind comes from stillness. Everything else is just the maelstrom. We may throw ourselves into that turbine, wistfully smiling & waving back at stillness, off to enjoy the current... slow & fast. We live life in what we perceive to be reality, & it's far from reality.

We may each individually have a subjective reality. We may recognize that. We may even recognize that our family, our city, or our country has their own consensus on a collective, subjective reality. Yet, tepidly we step into fathoming the reality that is ubiquitously real. The objective reality, or at least, a planetary-consensus reality.

We are in constant disagreement. Perhaps that's just how duality flows. Yet again, duality is just one of those other things in life of which I've met before.

I've also met oneness. If only briefly. Perhaps not even here. Deep within, perhaps. I was only able to become familiar with this oneness, because I met stillness.

There was a Well, though it remained still within an inverted, spiraling Waterfall. Unlimited in it's depths. An infinite source of rejuvenation. I sat with the Well, able to sip with serene serendipity. Things that mattered, suddenly didn't seem to matter. Momentarily I was perplexed, but I too let go of the unrest. At least for a time. It felt like forever, and parts of me wish it was... yet & still, I'm sure the sweetness of that moment is savored so, only in light of knowing the other.

Duality has a different perspective. An additional dimension, it adds a different point on the grid to circulate. It covers more of the breadth of experiences that Awareness has the leisure to explore. Perhaps I didn't meet oneness in it's entirety, no... I couldn't actually. It seems right to say that I only caught a glimpse.

July 2, 2019
Mr. Wildenfree
Peculiar Ponderer. Lyrical Dreamer. Creatively Expressing Balance In Duality.

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