July 1, 2019

#JournalingJuly - July 1st

500 words a day in the month of July. I guess that's what I'll write.
Haven't thought about how I should nurture the style, I could perhaps just let it be what it will be for a while.
I know there's been a lot on my mind & that's something that is forever available to me — hence why stillness seems so attractive, indeed.
I always talk about my Vipassana meditation retreat, perhaps you've only recently happened upon me & haven't yet seen that tweet, liked that post or heard my flows.
The balance I was able to feel within that deep serenity... truly blissful it was.
Departing from everything that's said to have meaning as told by others.
Freed from the captivity of society & simply BEING until it absolved my anxiety.
I worry often for worries sake. During meditation I came face to face with that realization,
Yet seeing alone does not quite solve the equation.
Practicing Balance & remaining at my center was difficult at first, but became easy.
With each day, it became my second nature. By the 8th, it became my first.
Similar when I'm with her the difficulties & the struggles & the harrowing nature of reality seem to just not exist.
Truly, they've all just been the hyperventilation of mental stimulation.
Fraught with turmoil after turmoil, trial & tribulation, terror & degradation...
Battered by my own pull of the trigger on attention, steadying its aim wherever it found itself.
Falling somewhat willingly into the rabbit hole,
I forgot the time & space that my mind was meant for.
Light was sent for me from my higher self & pulled me back to reality, like many times before.
What is it I speak of? Perhaps it's all just lore - but surely it's attractive to the rhythms of my score.
Cinematic Deja' vu, the Matrix that I stepped within twice & once again,
Or maybe this is all it's really ever been from perspectives that we vessel in...?
Again, my mind just simply wonders & I let it then.
Don't seek the truth thinking that you'll find it whole,
It's scattered into multifaceted facts severed from the only fact that we were always one;
Imagined self as two
Created worlds of three, from our duality
Vibrated into five
& ate to keep us down;
What ever comes around,
Will surely come around if we're still down
& can't envision the rise.
The mental eye, it perceives far beyond what we can dream if we can set it free.
And here I am preaching to me. Truly something that I've always known & need to seek,
to find stability... cause this reality, can lure the mad in me.
I find myself more than capable to weather the storms,
it's simply they just come around harder than ever before, & that's alright with me.
I simply let it be.
I feel what I need to feel, be still, then set it free.
A curious day one, to have only just begun.

All the Best,

Sean aka Mr. Wildenfree

July 1, 2019
Mr. Wildenfree
Peculiar Ponderer. Lyrical Dreamer. Creatively Expressing Balance In Duality.

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